The Power of Tactical Empathy

When I founded Alphy and closed our first venture round, a master-of-the-universe investor told me: “Guthrie, you’re going to have to be more mercenary. You’re too nice. Too empathetic.”

At the time, as our team set out to build a new technology, I wondered if he was right. In business, “empathy” is often coded as weakness — something softer and secondary to the hard edges of competition, negotiation, and deal-making. Elon Musk even declared recently, “The fundamental weakness of Western civilization is empathy.”

Then I heard Chris Voss, the former FBI hostage negotiator, describe tactical empathy in an interview with The New York Times. Tactical empathy, he said, isn’t about being a pushover. It’s about deliberately understanding the other side, including their motivations, apprehensions, and needs, and using that understanding to create better outcomes.

When that investor told me to be more mercenary, what he was really saying was: care less and put profits above everything, including the people around you. But I’ve found that caring, whether tactically or viscerally, has helped our great team build great AI technology and stay together through the ups and downs of startup life. This is empathy at work.

So maybe empathy doesn’t need rebranding. Or maybe, like Voss suggests, adding the word “tactical” reminds us that empathy isn’t the opposite of strength. It’s what makes strength effective.

Here are three takeaways on the power of tactical empathy:

Empathy Creates Leverage. Understanding what someone truly wants — even if they don’t articulate it — gives you the leverage to craft solutions others miss. Labeling and acknowledging emotions can disarm tension and open doors.

Empathy Is Communicated Through Words. The way we write, speak, and respond shows whether we’ve truly heard someone. Simple phrases that validate emotion (“It sounds like you’re concerned about…”) can shift conversations and build trust faster than authority alone.

Empathy Isn’t Soft — It’s Strategic. Tactical empathy doesn’t mean agreeing or conceding. It means listening actively, framing solutions in the other party’s language, and creating alignment that makes deals stick.

One final thought: When we built HarmCheck to detect harmful, unlawful, and unethical language in digital communication, we also trained our AI to recognize effective communication, including empathy. Because words don’t just reflect how we connect. They are how we connect.

Book a free demo of HarmCheck today: http://harmcheck.ai/demo

Julian Guthrie is the CEO and founder of Alphy.

HarmCheck by Alphy is an AI communication compliance solution that detects and flags language that is harmful, unlawful, and unethical in digital communication. Alphy was founded to reduce the risk of litigation from harmful and discriminatory communication.